Second love
by phyfrea
Summary: "Let me, Mrs. Cooper""It's Munroe, Sonny Munroe. And I'll take it myself, thank you," she says, shattering my already wreck of a heart into a million pieces, and walks out of my life forever. ONE SHOT.


**Disclaimer: No, I do not own Sonny With A Chance.**

**Warning: This is a depressing story. Look at the genre. Read at your own risk.**

**Sonny **

This is it. I have made up my mind. Today is my last day. My last day in this unfriendly, large, _empty_ building which I once called home. I'm leaving and never coming back. I've had enough. I've shed enough tears, wallowed in enough loneliness and been left uncared for enough time.

I feel _pathetic_.

I throw my clothes into the suitcase, not caring if they land in there neatly. All I want to do is get out and go somewhere where I'll be loved.

I zip the suitcase. I am ready. Ready to leave. Step out forever.

And one last time, I want to relive the many happy memories which did, despite the sad ones, take place here. Because how much ever I want to hate it, there is a part of me which will always belong here, a part of me which will always love it, call it home.

I roam through the mansion, my eyes roving over the couch, where Chad and I shared many a moment, cuddling, kissing and_ heck_ even just plain laughing. My eyes tear up a bit at the thoughts. But no. I'm not going to cry. Not again.

I wander into the kitchen and look at the plates from which both of us ate, at the same time, feeding each other, giggling, food fighting, flirting and leaving the kitchen a mess at the end of our activities. This time my eyes totally well up and albeit my resistance, some tear drops find their way out. I angrily straighten a plate and walk into what used to be 'our' room.

And this time, my defense totally crumbles.

Tears stream out and I choke and through blurry vision, I find my way to the bedside cabinet. I sit down on the bed and pick up one of my most beloved photographs: that of Chad and me on our wedding day. I stroke it and see how it seems to be from _eras_ ago. The gaze that Chad holds me in, in that photo, is intense, passionate and _loving_. How I wish he would look at me again, like that. But I know that it is not going to happen. _Never_ going to happen again. I don't even _try_ to deny it to myself anymore.

I gaze at the photo again. How wonderful that day had been. Chad had vowed to be with me life long and sealed the promise with a kiss. And it had seemed like I had nothing but a life of happiness ahead. Oh, how strange life can be. Never once had I imagined that _I_ would be the one to break that promise. That _I_ would be the one planning a walkout on the relationship.

I wipe the tears and let out a breath.

Looking back, I think it all started when I became Mrs. Chad Dylan Cooper. As Mrs. Cooper came to the fore, _Sonny_ was pushed to the dark posteriors of the Cooper shadow.

Any other girl would have been _happy_ to marry such a _mega_star. If only, I had learnt finding happiness in reckless shopping and being absolutely pampered. But sadly, no. All I craved was for Chad's company.

I'm not blaming him. Really, I'm not. He's always been a focused, strategic and hard-working guy. Chocolate-boy looks and innate talents can get a person only so far. If he had been surviving solely on those factors, he would have still been on small-screen, starring in some mediocre series. But today, he is on the way to the highest echelons of the film industry, on his way to ultimate superstardom, all because of his resolve and discipline. And I'm proud of him.

But that has made me as sad as happy.

Because cinema has always been his first love. And it always will be. And me?

I'll come second, all eternity.

He loves me, yes. _That_ I won't deny. But he'll never love me enough to put me first.

And as I think that, tears flood out, this time devoid of any resistance, in sign complete surrender to fate… and acceptance of truth.

My hand grazes over the photograph, as though in an attempt to reach the man in it across endless, invisible, _deluding_ barriers, and caress his beautiful face softly, one last time. And my eyes close, as though to make the fantasy more real and freeze it in time, for _ever_.

And then, finally, I set the photo back on the cabinet and prise myself out of the dream world. I've lived in it long enough. So long that I've actually forgotten reality. It is unhealthy. And disrespectful. To my life, and to those dear to me.

I walk towards the closet and harshly pulling it open, lay my head on the clothes, _Chad's_ clothes. My most favorite scent in the world overwhelms me and I find myself crying over them. I'm going to miss Chad. A lot.

I pull out his black leather jacket and sniff it, and finding it perfect, bury my head in it for a moment and then quietly toss it into my suitcase. It will belong to me, always. The photo, Chad can have. But the jacket is _mine_.

**Chad **

I drag myself to the limousine and the chauffeur promptly wrenches the door open. I simply nod my head and get in. It's been one grueling day, what with me having to switch back and forth between two studios and shoot action in one movie and an emotionally intense scene in another, _both_ of them on the same day.

But I'm going home now and relax. Call it a day. One hard yet _gratifying_ day.

But my heart twists a little as I think about home.

Home is where Sonny is.

And Sonny seems to be very distant lately. I know most of it is my fault. I haven't been able to pay proper attention to her at all in the recent weeks. And I suppose me forgetting her birthday last week was the final straw. But in my defense, I've been pretty busy. I just hope she lets go of that grudge and eases up.

She definitely will. I know my Sonny.

She has never been the one to hold a grudge for too long. She's just too nice for that.

I finally reach home and the doorman lets me in.

I would never have gone in if I had been able to foresee what was awaiting me behind the closed doors.

As I step in, I am met with a sight of a tearful Sonny, clutching a too-heavy-looking suitcase with both her hands.

"Sonny, are you alright? Why are you crying? Is everybody okay?" I ask frantically, moving towards her.

She puts up her hand in a swift movement, indicating me to stop. I am taken aback by the resolve in that gesture and involuntarily raise my right eyebrow.

"Chad," she says, addressing me directly for the first time in several weeks. Despite her crying, she sounds very firm.

"Chad, I'm going" I shake my head, not understanding.

"I'm leaving. I'm going back. Back to Los Angeles, to Condor studios, to resume my position on _So Random!_"

I am missing something here. She can't be serious, can she?

"What do you mean you're going back? You never discussed it with me, Sonny. It is such a big decision. How can you simply pack your bag and decide you want to leave, overnight? Do you realize that I can't come?"

She gives a mirthless chuckle. Her eyes flash in anger. Fear clouds my chest. What's going on?

"When have you ever been around to discuss it with? _Yes_, it _is_ a big decision. But I am a mature woman, capable of making my own decisions, thank you very much. You've lost the right to be my husband very long ago, when you forgot that you had a wife, who had emotional needs to be taken care of, who was a _human_, after all," she spits.

Her tone is frigid, and her words stab my heart.

"What- what do you mean, Sonny?" I ask, not even sure of what I am talking about anymore.

"You know exactly what I mean Chad"

My brain vaguely registers that what she says makes sense. But when my world has come crashing down, does it really matter?

"Sunshine, I'm sorry...please don't go, please stay…I need you…" And for the first time in many years, I feel tears starting to prick my eyes. Why am I being punished so cruelly? I need my Sonny.

"No, Chad. I'm leaving for good this time. Look, this is my ticket. I have a flight to catch. Bye!" she chokes a little over the last word.

"Sonny" My voice cracks and tears pour out of my eyes unashamedly. I _hate_ myself for doing this to her.

"Chad…this is goodbye I guess. I love you, always will. Remember that, will you?" This time, there is no anger in her voice. She merely sounds tired, vexed and several years older.

But there is a determination underlying her words which tell me that I'm going to _have_ to let go, that she isn't going to stay, no matter how much I try. And yet, throwing logic to the winds, I sink to my knees, shaking my head, _begging_…

"_Please_"

"Chad Dylan…," she whispers softly, tears pouring out of her eyes too, and my name has never been voiced by a better person.

"Your icy blue eyes have held me captive for too long…Now take care," she says, in the same tone, running her hand through my hair. I relish in its feeling for one last time, for one fleeting moment.

And then I open my eyes and she's gone. I race through the hallways and open the front door just on time.

The chauffeur sees her luggage and offers, "Let me, Mrs. Cooper"

"It's Munroe, Sonny _Munroe_. And I'll take it myself, thank you," she says, shattering my already wreck of a heart into a million pieces.

I sink into the front porch, unaware of my surroundings, unaware that her chocolate orbs met my blue ones for the tiniest fraction of a second before she turned away and walked out of my life forever.

And as I sit there, a flood of memories hit me, all of them having to do with me neglecting Sonny. I try to block them, they are much too painful, and _taunting_. But no, they don't stop. I suppose this is karma, the universe's way of getting back at me, for everything that I put my wonderful Sonny through.

A lot of times she begged me to spend time with her. But I was always busy, work took up all my time. The two times, those rare two times when she did fall ill, I left her to her own devices, not even showing ten percent of the concern, the care, she showered me with when I fell ill. And always, she was alone at home all day, reduced to seeking company from plants and flowers and pet animals, only because I was never home, and all her own friends and family and _passion _were so far away, in the crowded suburbs of Los Angeles. And why were they so far away? Because, she, with all her magnanimous heart, decided to sacrifice her love of comedy for the sake of _my_ career. That woman deserves a monument after her, her very own _Taj Mahal_.

Tears continue to make their way down my face and I don't think they will cease for a very long time. Sonny was right. I don't deserve to be called her husband. I've been treating her as a mere housekeeper.

A small part of my heart wishes that she had stood up to me earlier, instead of silently bearing my wrongs. Maybe then, I would have seen the error of my ways earlier and _maybe_, we could have salvaged this marriage. But Sonny has never been much of a feminist. She has always placed others' happiness before hers, quietly putting up with their flaws and imperfections, so that, in the end, everybody felt good. She only cracked when it all came bearing down on her, only when she was unable to endure it anymore.

And to think that I reduced her to that stage… I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself.

**Sonny (A year and a half later)**

Tears stream down my face as names roll on the screen in front of me. It's the closing credits of Chad's latest film_ 'A tribute to a Goddess_', a film about a woman who gives up everything for her family, but they don't appreciate it at all. And one day, sick of everything, she walks away. And then the ungrateful family realizes how much she had been holding the family together. Their life falls apart without her and in the end, they beg her to come back and tell that she is a queen in her own right, and this time, she is given a royal treatment.

"Chad, you've always been a good man. Just not cut for a family life," I mutter to the air around me and sincerely hope that, miles away, Chad knows that.

**Author's note:**

**I, like most of you, am a fan of happy endings and this is my first story which doesn't have that. But I had to do this one. I started writing this a very long time ago, doing bits and pieces every now and then. This story is a result of the potential that the contrasts in Sonny's and Chad's personalities offer. I feel that Sonny isn't really ambitious and even though she has enough talent to make it big, she is satisfied with what happiness and success she derives out of a small TV show. Chad, on the other hand, is very ambitious and strives the hardest to succeed. This streak is very noticeable when he refuses to share the plot details of Mackenzie Falls with Sonny when he asks her out. And have you seen how obsessed he is with his show? And about Sonny's adjusting persona, have you seen how she put up with Tawni's bitterness and repulsion as amiably as possible until she can no longer take it on her first day at SR? How many of you out there would have done the same?**

**This story is just an exploration of the above characteristics.**

**If you are upset, I deserve a review, don't I? :)**


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